My coworker loves hiking and recently she told me about the Seven Peaks of Southern California. I am not at all an active person but it sounds like something I would like to do in the future. I can see the antennas on Mount Wilson from the school I work at. Someday, I would like to go to one or more of the peaks!
Right now I feel strange. It’s weird because I know the person I want to be, but what I am dong right now doesn’t match it. For example, I want to learn to cook. However, I never cook because I am always doing other things such as going to school, working, or sleeping zzz. My mentor told me to pick one thing to work on each year. She asked what is important to me. For her, reading and writing instruction was important and she wanted students to know who they are, and what books were good for them. Given that, she said she was probably “an awful math teacher” her first few years.
There are a lot of responsibilities that have been weighing on me recently and I give myself permission to do just a passable job at them:
-I don’t have to be an excellent social studies teacher
-I don’t have to be good at working with 8th graders
-I don’t have to offer high-quality after school classes
What I’ve done the past two years at work has been so bizarre that sometimes when I go into Target or Jamba Juice, I get jealous of the employees. Is it weird that I know I would be much happier working at Target than at school? I know I would be an excellent Target employee, but a struggling teacher at my assignments. Hopefully, this feeling passes soon. It really is not a good feeling to go into work, not knowing what the purpose is 😥 I find it hard to even endure 3 months of my assignment and it really makes me feel strange.
I wonder how you can know what kind of job you are walking into before you start it. The thing about teaching is that even if it is not a good fit, once you sign your contract it is for one year. I cannot get sick or do another assignment like the one I have now. I really need to be more discerning and cautious about what kind of job I take next time. I am fine with taking a support role, but I need to know what I will be doing at my job and how I fit into the school.
It is so so hard to find a job that is a good fit!