Dear Diary

It is so scary how the money I spend adds up to a couple hundred dollars a month, even though I might not be spending more than $10-20 at a time :O. I really need to get better about my spending now that I am not going to be working anymore. I need to cancel all of my memberships to Pandora, Adobe, and Amazon. Also, I need to stop eating out because it just adds up T__T.

Looking at my bank statement, I basically spend on:

-gas

-meals, coffee, food

It’s honestly scary to go into the unknown. I don’t know if I got into graduate school, and even if I did (fingers crosses), it will start in September. What shall I do for 9 months?! Like my therapist said, I am entering a turbulent time, but there is no way to go through it than to go through it. It could be a really exciting and healing time for me.

I feel like I have fallen off the face of the Earth for 3 years and now I am getting back into it. I am not totally done with school yet because there is the medical leave and I still need to plan and prep. But I have taken one huge step toward getting out. I think I am burnt out not only from this particular job but from my commute and all the trauma I endured the past two years. This year just triggers a lot of that, with additional stress. I am physically and mentally not able to do it anymore 😥 .

What I need to do:

-Find a temp office job: it has to be a low key job that is not too involved because I don’t have the mental strength to do a heavy job right now

-Apply for health coverage during this gap

-Finish planning and think about what I am going to say to my employer upon the end end of my leave

-Think about what I’ve wanted to do and heal from my experience as a teacher

I will embrace the unknown and because I know I am strong and I have help, everything will be alright <3.

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