My random thoughts

These are my random thoughts, written in a guest room at an Airbnb at 3am in Queens, NY! This moment in my life is never going to happen again. Like all moments.

-Less than a week ago, I wasn’t going to come to NY. I’m so glad I decided to on a whim, to come to Kweli 19!

-Sometimes (actually, everyday) I miss Ray very very much.

-Every day for the past 2 years, I have wanted to feel how I did the spring and summer of 2017. I miss the sense of pure freedom.

-There is no better feeling than being released and feeling completely free. It’s like being born and your life begins again.

-There is a very specific moment in May 2017 when I felt that, the day after I started my leave and knew I would never have to go back to the school I was teaching at.

-The first thing I did that day was read.

-And do yoga, cook, order pizza, spend time with Ray, go to painting class, spending time with Claudia and Elaine, and do a bunch of things that I’ve always wanted to do.

-That is my favorite life and I want space and time to be able to do that again.

-The radiator in my room is gurgling like crazy right now.

-It’s very redeeming and healing to attempt something that you failed at before.

-Some paths are formed by going from A to B. Others are formed by a series of doors closing until a path emerges. – Ransom Riggs

-At the lowest point of my life, maybe just 3 or 4 months ago, I was just “a skeleton with a beating heart” – Tahereh Mafi. I have begun fleshing out that skeleton now.

-I had a nice chat with my host last night ^^ . She is so cool!

-I wonder if there is a way to make money from my love of reading.

-I have wonderful friends and I’m proud of how strong I am.

Healing from wounds

This is really meaningful to me because each of these books, except “How to Read a Novelist,” have to do with wounds. My therapist recommended Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents to me and it felt like the book was written for me. The book talks about different types of emotionally immature parents, and my parents are two of the types. I really appreciate the anecdotes in the book because they made me feel seen. Once I know this exists for many people, and I’m not alone, I can begin to recognize and heal from it.

Along with that, Darius the Great Is Not Okay also talks about feeling distant or even rejected by a parent. I’m really liking this wave of Muslim-American authors like Adib Khorram and Tahereh Mafi. They do a good job of writing well-rounded characters whose religion is only one part of who they are.. in fact, these characters have much greater obstacles to overcome than being Muslim. They have to battle depression, micro-aggression, and peer pressure. I loved Darius and I’ll be rooting for more characters like him.

Speaking of self-involved parents, Rapunzel was raised by one in the form of Mother Gothel. So, Disney Hyperion has this series that are origin stories for villains. I came across Mother Gothel’s and was curious. Disclaimer: I love fairy tales and dark fairy tales (and Rapunzel.) I always thought Gothel is a well-rounded villain and I think part of her does love Rapunzel even if the glowing flower motivated her to keep Rapunzel around. I like that we are getting a different POV on the classic villains.

Lastly, I LOVE A Crack in the Sea!!!!!! I wish this book became huge but I can see why it’s kind of an obscure book in the MG/fantasy market because it is different from popular fantasy. There aren’t paranormal creatures or heroes who wear capes. The story has a complex set up with twins during the transAtlantic slave trade, siblings who are Vietnam boat people, and aa trio of kids from a fantasy Second World, the Raft and the Island. The author pulled it off very well and the story was a joy to read. If I was a writer, I would definitely want commercial success, but I’d also like to take narrative risks such as Bouwman did here. Will be reading the sequel!

I skipped “How to Read a Novelist” because it was just too dry. I think my wheelhouse is still kidlit and contemporary fiction written by women. ❤