These are my random thoughts, written in a guest room at an Airbnb at 3am in Queens, NY! This moment in my life is never going to happen again. Like all moments.

-Less than a week ago, I wasn’t going to come to NY. I’m so glad I decided to on a whim, to come to Kweli 19!

-Sometimes (actually, everyday) I miss Ray very very much.

-Every day for the past 2 years, I have wanted to feel how I did the spring and summer of 2017. I miss the sense of pure freedom.

-There is no better feeling than being released and feeling completely free. It’s like being born and your life begins again.

-There is a very specific moment in May 2017 when I felt that, the day after I started my leave and knew I would never have to go back to the school I was teaching at.

-The first thing I did that day was read.

-And do yoga, cook, order pizza, spend time with Ray, go to painting class, spending time with Claudia and Elaine, and do a bunch of things that I’ve always wanted to do.

-That is my favorite life and I want space and time to be able to do that again.

-The radiator in my room is gurgling like crazy right now.

-It’s very redeeming and healing to attempt something that you failed at before.

-Some paths are formed by going from A to B. Others are formed by a series of doors closing until a path emerges. – Ransom Riggs

-At the lowest point of my life, maybe just 3 or 4 months ago, I was just “a skeleton with a beating heart” – Tahereh Mafi. I have begun fleshing out that skeleton now.

-I had a nice chat with my host last night ^^ . She is so cool!

-I wonder if there is a way to make money from my love of reading.

-I have wonderful friends and I’m proud of how strong I am.