Slow motion

slow motion

Slothilda explores an inner conflict we can all relate to―the desire to succeed and grow, while paradoxically dealing with the ever present temptation to sloth.

I’ve always been a slowpoke and I see it as one of my bad qualities. Except it isn’t the kind of “bad quality” you can share in an interview, like perfectionism. Being slow is frowned upon in this society where you need to be on top of it and preferably, ahead!

But like anything, being slow can hurt or help you. It’s hurt me at work, when I can’t keep up with the endless tasks a teacher has to do. It’s also hurt other people’s impression of me because I don’t appear as capable or smart, when I take longer to do things. When you’re slow, sometimes you miss the breakfast orders or a piece of the cake. In big and small ways, the combination of being slow and not attentive can really hinder you at work!

Since I quit my teaching job, my life has gotten a lot slower and less urgent. Suddenly, there are so many things that I want to do, hobbies that have been ignored and people I have not seen. But am I any less lazy just because my to-do list is now fun??

Absolutely not. I’m as slow as I’ve always been even though I love the things I’m doing. This is where Slothilda hit the nail on the head and represents all of us. Aspiration/inspiration is overwhelming on social media. There are so many workshops, places, skills, products, to acquire and attend. We can always be better and travel on the path to success. At the same time, the temptation to watch videos, go on social media, play games, or NOT improve ourselves is still there.

So, might there be value in not fighting ourselves and simply take time to do things?

When I was a teacher, I always had a few students who would rush to finish and turn in everything. They hated being second and they always always wanted to be first. First in line, first to finish, first place in everything. They wanted to be done. (Sometimes even issued “speeding tickets” to get these kids to slow down. Taking your time to do something is very difficult! As adults, we are no different. There’s a sense of satisfaction in checking things off our to-do list. Anything that makes us “get behind” on work is annoying. All of this is reasonable because we live in a deadline-driven and very fast-paced society. There are real consequences for not getting things done on time.

As someone trying to get more control over my life, I found this article really helpful: How I’m Becoming More of a Slow Person. She talks about  slowing down our daily routines, relationships, and creativity. All of those are hugely important to me! Sometimes I get bursts of creativity and times when I want to socialize. Other days, sometimes during those very bursts, I feel like I just want to get into bed and become a burrito. I’m still finding the balance as I grow my creative business and learn to manage everything else in life, including relationships.

These are a few ways I’m slowing down my life in a way that’ll help me:

  • Slower creativity: Taking time to make art that makes sense and has meaning, instead of creating the first thing I see.
  • Slower relationships: Trusting my intuition and noticing when people are sketchy or not right for me. Don’t get drawn into energy-depleting relationships. Refrain from oversharing and let trust build on its own time.
  • Slower daily routines: Checking in with myself and see if my needs are met, such as getting enough sleep, drinking water, screen-free meal times, and noticing physical signs that I need to re-center.

Truth or dare

truth or dare

But if you listen closely to the tiny voice in your head, the calm one, that is you talking. And if you turn up the volume on it and try to listen, it blocks all the other voices out. – Rowan Blanchard

*I’m starting a weekly series and “truth or dare” is the first one! It’s about things that are super important to me.*

Truth or dare is game we play and this is how I’d define the terms:

  • Truth – your honest opinion that comes from yourself; could be an embarrassing secret or unpopular opinion
  • Dare – a scary thing that someone else tells you to do; could be an undesirable act or doing something you hate

I’m definitely a truth person because it’s easier for me to use words than to physically do something I don’t want to do. This might be seen as wimpy. It’s usually seen as braver to take on a big, scary action. But what I realized as I get older is that

Truth and dare is often the same thing in a world where speaking up could get you in trouble. 

I’ve gotten myself in trouble several times at work when I spoke up about something that wasn’t fair or right. People, especially authority figures, simply don’t like those who don’t follow directions. They especially don’t like it when they assume I’d do what they say, and it turns out I won’t. The voice inside my head is literally saying:

Image result for girl you're in danger

In my adult life, I’d say telling the truth has been far scarier than eating worms/skydiving/needles or any “dare” could be. There are so many consequences you need to live with when you tell the truth that people don’t want to hear. For example, you could be:

  • fired from a job / ruin your career
  • lose your friends and acquaintances
  • gas-lighted – people make you doubt yourself
  • criticized & harassed in person or online
  • made out to be bad guy??!!!?
  • lose sleep and go under a ton of stress

Even knowing all of these might happen as a result of telling the truth, I still feel that it is so important that the truth be told. I’ve always been into journalism and looked up for people who report facts and find out stories that we might–we WOULDN’T– have known about otherwise. If it makes certain people soooo uncomfortable that the truth is told, isn’t it even more necessary that we state the facts? If you haven’t done anything shady or inappropriate, there is no need to silence people.

I think truth is one of those things that is as free as air and as valuable as gold at the same time. Truth already exists and it can’t be taken away; however, if it’s something that people want to keep secret, all of a sudden it becomes super valuable. People would pay/do/say anything to keep you quiet because they don’t want the truth to come out.

When I’ve made the difficult decision to tell the truth, the results I’ve gotten are that people get very offended, angry, or they label themselves as the victims. This is me when they do that:

Image result for what?! minions gif

I can’t really believe that they have the nerve to do what they did and NOT WANT ANYONE ELSE TO TALK ABOUT IT. These are often the very people who will preach about “consequences” and “integrity” and I. JUST. CAN’T. at the hypocrisy. It makes me feel like we are living in The Scarlet Letter times.

So what is there to do? I think my girl Rowan Blanchard said it best in the article “Sorry, Not Sorry;” the truth already exists, it’s just a matter of covering or uncovering it.

You don’t have to apologize for who you are, and you certainly don’t have to apologize for who you are not.

In conclusion, telling the truth makes any dare seem like a piece of cake (but I still will take truth over dare cuz EVEN THE BRAVEST PERSON IS WIMPY IN SOME REGARDS.)