Summer recipes & feelings

* I love Babble, this website for parents that is no longer being updated. I always loved their DIY and food section. I’m not a hipster parent but their style totally speaks to me. Someday, I will live out the Babble life! Here are some recipes for the summer / light meals.

Gyoza dumplings & miso eggplant

Huevos rancheros

Fruit rainbow rolls

Buffalo cauliflower

Roasted cauliflower recipes

Watermelon salad

*Current feelings: I feel unmoored. To be honest, I have avoided the news a lot from 2016-2018 because I was in survival mode pretty much the entire time. Now that I have learned how awful things really are out there, I feel anxious and helpless–what can we do? I used to think politics had nothing to do with me, and no matter who was elected president or who was in power, my life would stay the same. After all, I’m not the people they’re making laws about or targeting.

When I got out of survival mode earlier this year, I learned that politics has everything to do with our lives. No one can avoid it. Racism, sexism, and victim blaming are real and the fact that I didn’t notice it means that it is so deeply ingrained that I accept it as normal.

Beliefs to unlearn:

-It’s the victim’s responsibility to deal with it or change so it doesn’t happen to them. The perpetrator is a given, even if they are wrong.

-If only you had done ___ instead of ___, the bad thing would not have happened to you.

-Success is earned. If I’m not successful, I must have made the wrong decisions or been deficient.

-Sexism look like a bad evil guy. The scary thing about sexism is that you can’t really tell who your allies and perpetrators are. Women and men can both enforce the patriarchy.

-Racism does not always look and sound like racial slurs or segregation signs. It can be subtle but all the more evil because it means people do not think they are being racist. Also, even though you are already the victim, the perpetrators are taking away the grounds for you to fight by saying that racism doesn’t exist.

Some ways that I’ve been motivated/inspired:

-Journalists who are doing amazing work and exposing what has been hidden for so long. I want to think like a journalist and observe everything as well!!!!

-Be more vocal and learn about issues that concern women, such as menstruation, career ceilings, family live, management, and the messages we send to adolescent girls.

-Continue staying in the loop about education and kidlit! I really do believe that little people grow up to be big people, and it’s all of our responsibilities to make sure that we help them be good.

-Sometimes, you don’t want to follow the law. You want to do better than the law. Law and ethics are not always the same, and in fact, laws can totally be tools for evil.

-Be present and take care of myself so that I can fight the good fight longer. 💛💪 This is probably my biggest takeway. If I want to work for good and live a happy, supportive life, I need to be strong and healthy emotionally, mentally and physically. This means taking the best care of myself, such as eating well, exercising, getting enough sleep, drinking water, pushing out of my comfort zone, and going to therapy.

*Last feelings: It gives me faith that even if I am far away, time and distance wise, the people that matter to me will never disappear. For example, I was talking to Judith, my middle school stand partner today!!!!! It’s been 18 years!!!!!! This gives me hope that even if I do not talk to or even see someone for a long time, they are still in my life. I fear erasure or disappearing. But it doesn’t have to happen. I picked up viola again this year after not playing for 10+ years and it feels like a way to honor my connection to Dr. Little, even though I was a terrible student at the time. Being here, in a different state, is like a trial run for when I live on my own. Will I be able to make connections? In what ways will I honor people like Suzana, Carrie, Elaine, and my mentors? How will I keep the connection to my friends alive, such as Shirley, Britney, Coryell, Maki, Sophie, Claudia, and Floey? How will I make room for new connections?

My takeaway is that I don’t make meaning based on where I live, what city I am in, or even necessarily what job I have, although all those have serious effects and consequences. I make meaning based on how I spin my past lives into something beautiful and apply the lessons I’ve learned from people. I can tell this is going to be an emotionally challenging month so I will be documenting. ❤

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