Living with Fear and Caution

Fear is such a physical feeling for me — heart palpitations, sweating palms and bottoms of feet, and a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. As I sit in my room where I am the only person, I feel totally scared. It is unsettling to be the only one and it feels like coming face-to-face with my phobias:

What if I hear a crash out of nowhere?

What if I see a snake slithering out from under the cabinets?

What if there is a ghost staring back from inside the mirror in my bathroom?

What if there are insects breeding in the hidden corners of my apartment?

What if a bomb goes off outside? What if there are bad guys just outside my window?

What if the big earthquake happens and no one can help me?

What if there is a locust or a bee/wasp gets inside?

What if spiders or gnats are hiding in my plants?

Typing them out makes me feel a tiny bit better. Naming my fears is the first step to overcoming them. But in the age of pandemic/rising fascism/climate change, isn’t it a little reasonable to be fearful? I do wish I had someone watching over me.

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