In the summer of 2012, my friend Coryell gave me a deck of tarot cards called Shadowscapes. I’ve never really practiced tarot since then. A month ago, I joined a virtual writing group that meets on Monday nights, and we usually do two writing prompts and read each other our responses. I’ve been in a reflective mood and wanting to process everything that is going on, and I thought of using the tarot cards as a tool.
Next Monday, I will be leading the writing session based on tarot cards!
I also want to get more familiar with the deck myself, so I’m committing to waking up and drawing a single card to see what I need today and why I’m feeling this way. I will be sharing my writing here because I want to use it as a writing exercise as well.
Here is today’s: XV The Devil
Wow! That a scary one to start with. I have been feeling very afraid. According to Shadowscapes Companion, the card means “losing independence, overindulgence, choosing to stay in the dark. Feeling hopelessness close in and limit the options.”
When I look closely at the card, I see a woman whose wrists are chained to a cave, and the key is right above her, if only she would look up. She actually isn’t trapped because the world is open to her on either side. I feel like that sometimes because I can be very focused on one thing that I forget to look up and see that I can be free.
On the other hand, I feel read by the way the card says I am overindulging. Because I am. I have been treating myself to boba too often and I really have no reason to. I wonder if that counts as a drinking habit. I also definitely feel hopeless by collective and individual things. I feel a sense of despair, like how in the picture, the devil is tap dancing on the walls. Seeing what I have seen the past two weeks—it’s just harrowing. I am in a time of my life when I feel like I am wrestling with the devil but I am confident that I can break through because I have gotten away from the devil before.