Shadowscapes Day 21: The Hierophant

Today’s card is The Hierophant.

In the picture, a caterpillar appears as a moth in front of the Hierophant. Seeing the moth in flight, the Salamander also wants to fly. The Salamander asks the Hierophant if it may also fly.

“Just know that your own destiny shall be attained along a different path than Caterpillar’s,” he said.

The card makes me feel a little uneasy at first because it looks creepy, and I had an uneasy night of sleep. I realized that there are so many traps that I can fall into throughout the day on social media: seeing people get married and promoted, celebrities and toxicity. It really is awful on my mental health. For example, I felt horrible after watching couple vlogs because I feel like I would never be in one. I feel so unphotogenic after seeing celebrity Instagrams. I definitely feel odd because I’m single. It’s really hard to counter the feeling that I should be partnered; it’s like a loud voice in my head telling me that I’m unchosen. I literally have to tell myself to not listen to that voice!

This message isn’t going away. If anything, it’ll get louder. A few months ago I talked to my friend about how hard it is being a single, unmarried woman as you get older. There are single ~icons~, but they are rich and attractive celebrities for whom being single is an asset. If anything, being single makes them more desirable. For regular single folks, life can be hard in several ways. One that I’m feeling right now is just being, literally, odd because I’m not paired with someone. I’m the extra person on the guest list, if I make it to the list at all. Another is that society is not favorable or trusting of single women. I don’t have a boyfriend or husband to refer to in conversations. There’s just so much social capital in being coupled. 😭

Going back to today’s tarot card, desirability has always felt like a puzzle to me, and something I don’t have. I feel like the Salamander in the parable because flight is unattainable to me, but I see other creatures having that ability. 😥 This is definitely a feeling I have to sit and get comfortable with. How do I celebrate being a Salamander??

Shadowscapes Day 21: Page of Swords

Today’s card is Page of Swords.

The swans flap their wings and create an updraft that carries the page through the night. She’s quick to adapt to the shifts in winds, seeing the path that nocturnal guardians of the sky offer. The Page of Swords embodies honesty and truthfulness.

I relate to this card because truth and honesty are really important to me. “She knows the measure of her own soul.” I want to get better at that and assessing situations.”She stretches her perceptions to try to make room for the new and unknown.”

I’ll have to do that when I start my long-term assignment in a new classroom. I will give myself and the students a lot of grace. I’m also excited to teach math! Being myself and seeing the students for who they are will help me.

Shadowscapes Day 20: Page of Cups

Today’s card is Page of Cups.

The mermaid takes a whiff of the single cup. She sits on a conch to rest. Fish know to swim around her so they don’t disturb her peace.

“In a world that is filled with so much noise and bustle, she longs for the time and space to simply breathe and to truly take in the pleasures that abound. She listens to the still voice from deep inside that speaks with understanding and intuition, and she longs to believe in the impossible.”

I relate to how the mermaid wants to take time to look at coins, tendrils and other miscellanea. As my life gets busier, I also really crave time to be still. I appreciate stillness especially during the school day, and I’m going to try to find more of it for myself and for my class.