Earlier today I was feeling super nervous about an interview I have. My heart was beating fast and I couldn’t concentrate. It was the same feeling I get after breaking up or being in trouble. It was a fight or flight feeling, and how I felt whenever I was in the classroom and things were out of control.
It is the worst feeling of my life. When I feel that way for prolonged periods, I get physically sick.
But I had a mock interview with an old friend, and after that I felt a lot better and freer. I realized there are things I can do to prepare, but ultimately interviews are not only about who can do the job, but who they want to work with every day.
Once I realized that, I came upon these other conclusions:
The person I’m best at being is myself.
I can’t adopt a new personality in order to get a job. When I do, I’m not going to do a very good job because the job would be a poor fit for me. I can only present the best me and hope that the employer likes that person. But it is never a winning idea to try to be someone else, BECAUSE EVENTUALLY YOU HAVE TO BE YOURSELF!
Life goes on whether I get this job or not.
Even though it is an incredible opportunity, I’m not going to become a different or better person if I get this job. And even if I don’t, life goes on. It’s not the last interview I will ever go on, and it’s not the only job in the world. It’s not even the only job in publishing or in the company. I can reframe the interview as something that can only help me because there is nothing to lose.
An interview is a chance to see if you’d work well together.
When I was interviewing and just desperate for jobs in the past, I always thought I had to impress the interviewer. But now that I’ve landed myself in some truly miserable and poor fit jobs, I realized that an interview is not only about winning the employer over, but about finding if you’d be a good addition to a team. In that case, it truly is a two way street! At this point in my life, I am looking for a place where I belong too.
Looking for a job is an extremely ordinary thing.
My parents always make it seem like I’m in trouble or something is TERRIBLY WRONG with me/my life/my fate when I’m looking for a job, but job hunting is actually extremely mundane. Millions of people all over the world, every day, are looking for work. They include students applying for residency, migrant workers looking for their next seasonal job, artists looking for their next gig, career changers looking for entry level jobs. It can happen in one day or it might take months to a year, and one thing I realized is that there’s no hack to it. (If there were, there would be no unemployment.) Unless you have extraordinary skills or connections, job hunting is just the pain that it is. Embracing that has been freeing. I’m still responsible for APPLYING and INTERVIEWING for jobs, but I’m no longer responsible for GETTING a job because that doesn’t have on my end. Only an employer can hire me.
When you think it’s in your power to win a job, that only leads to misery and a lot of frustration (AKA feeling like a loser and wondering what’s wrong with you)
Be proud of your history and who you are.
Having said all that, I think one way to embrace the job hunting process is to be proud of who you are. I think the hardest job hunt I had was after college because I had no work experience. I simply had nothing to talk about. But now, I have SO much to talk about because all those things really happened to me, and I don’t have to make up stories. I can wear my failures as badges of honor and signs that I have worked and lived life.
Probably my biggest takeaway from all of this is to embrace the process and not fight it. Also, be yourself and know yourself well! Job hunting is a way to bring your skills to a place where they’ll be put to good use. It’s really about alignment rather than winning.