Middle grade mayhem

As a former child and former elementary teacher, middle grade books are how I got serious about reading. One of my mentor teachers said that “kids are little people” and I agree — they wonder about the meaning of life, they want to belong, and they are flawed so they make mistakes. They also don’t know which friends and authority figures, if any, to trust.

For middle grade authors to be able to distill all those adult themes in kid language is really a feat. 👏🎬

Sputnik’s Guide by Frank Cottrell Boyce

I had to read this twice. It reminds me of Boom! by Mark Haddon, both are written by British authors. It’s a little too lackadaisical for me, but on the second reading, I understood it a little more. It’s about a boy with selective mutism whose grandfather (his caretaker) has just been taken to a home. He is staying with a foster family for the summer, and he meets a dog, Sputnik. He imagines Sputnik as a person/his partner. Sputnik helps Prez come to terms with his grandfather’s being taken away to a home and find where he belongs, where it’s with the Blythes, his foster family, or not. Sense of belonging is an eternal theme in kidlit!

Lalani of the Distant Sea by Erin Entrada Kelly

Erin Entrada Kelly is one of my must-read authors! Her books have a definite theme — told from the point of view of a protagonist (often girl) who is bullied and overcomes obstacles to prove herself to the community, and if not, to herself. Lalani is her latest, and it’s a masterpiece of Filipino folklore and the classic hero’s journey. It reminds me of The Girl Who Drank the Moon by Kelly Barnhill, Disney’s Moana, and Where the Mountain Meets the Moon by Grace Lin.

I love the main narrative interspersed with folktales that give more background to what Lalani encounters. My favorite tale was one the girl with a shell on her back discarding her shell, then finding a village where everyone has a shell. It’s so heartbreaking how you try your hardest to conform to a society where you don’t fit, then when you finally find your people, you no longer fit in with them. I cannot blame the girl for getting rid of her shell — it was the best choice she could have made at the time. I think we are all trying to find that place where the unique things about us, the flaws, would help us belong rather than cast us out. I love this story because the theme of belonging is so universal.

The Only Road by Alexandra Diaz

This book follows the journey of a Guatemalan boy, Jaime, and his cousin, Angela, to the EE.UU. It is a really important book, but I worry that it may reinforce what white readers want to believe/read about undocumented kids. The story begins with the death of Jaime’s cousin, Miguel, to the Alphas. After killing Miguel, the gang recruits Jaime and Angela, giving them no choice but to flee.

The most informative part of the book was getting to follow their journey from Guatemala to Mexico, from the center of Mexico to Ciudad Juarez, then finally crossing the border. The reader spends time with the protagonists on La Bestia, the train that maims and leaves many riders unable to work and worse off than they started. We also find out how hard it is to negotiate with the coyotes and other migrants — you can’t trust anyone, and danger is everywhere even though the end goal might be the same. I am interested in what happens when Jaime and Miguel arrive and start their lives in the U.S., so I will check out the sequel. When it comes to something as complex as immigration from kids’ perspectives, multiple perspectives are so important, which is why I am also reading Haymarket’s Solito, Solita, first-person accounts of the same journey that Jaime and Angela took.

Midnight Mayhem by Rajani LaRocca

This is one of my favorite books! It’s a twist on Shakespeare’s “Midsummer Night’s Dream.” I love the Changeling, Queen Titania, the love square, and most of all, the baking contest twist! There are so many delicious recipes that I want to try from this book. It was a really creative retelling of the play.

Mimi is so the main character. I love how Rajani LaRocca wrote about Mimi’s Indian American family. Being Indian wasn’t a plot point in the book but it was incorporated into the ingredients she used in baking, like turmeric coffee cake and rosewater cupcakes. I also related to the way that Mimi feels like she is the only untalented one in her family. There’s a lot to love about this book!

Blackbird Fly by Erin Entrada Kelly

Oh my gosh, this book was so sad. Apple is like Quinn in Glee — ALL the bad things happen to her and she has the worst luck in school. Erin Entrada Kelly is a pro at writing protagonists like this and I love it. Kids need to see that childhood is not all riding bikes and selling lemonade. There are kids who are suffering, just like they might be.

Apple has a hard time because boys at school have ranked her as the third ugliest girl in school, her mom doesn’t let her buy a guitar, and her friends are really not friends at all. Despite all of this, she does find true friends. It’s really refreshing to read about sad kids because I deal with depression and my childhood wasn’t happy. It can be even more alienating to see stories where kids are having a carefree time. So I appreciate the sad girl books, and I hope Erin Entrada Kelly continues to write them!

What are your favorite genres within middle grade?

Mulan and the heroine’s journey

I was really looking forward to watching the live action “Mulan” in theaters, but because of COVID-19, it has been pushed back. In lieu of the movie, I decided to read three retellings of Mulan. The live action has gotten some backlash for not being faithful to the “original” animation in 1998, but that is only one version of a centuries old ballad.

There are so many ways to retell the story, the center of which is a young woman who disguises herself as a man so she can take the place of her father in the imperial army. To me, Mulan is about strength and knowing yourself, as well as questioning what femininity and masculinity really mean.

Aside from the Mulan retellings, I also read two books by authors who explored a part of their background. The heroine’s journey always draws me in.

The Magnolia Sword by Sherry Thomas

This is an amazing book! Sherry Thomas is a romance writer, and this telling includes romance between Mulan and a princeling. Their families have dueled for generations and the winner gets to keep the other’s sword. At first Mulan didn’t recognize that the princeling was her rival Yuan Kai, and once she recognized them, she starts to have feelings for him. Their prior history makes the romance a little different from the romance in other versions of Mulan. They have to wrestle with family history in addition to the gender disguise.

Another thing that sets The Magnolia Sword apart from other Mulan retellings is the north-south regional differences and Rouran history that Thomas incorporated into the tale. Chinese history, like most forms of written history, is written by the victors. Mulan’s troop also included minorities, some of which descended from the enemy they were fighting. Thomas didn’t treat China as a monolith fighting against a foreign invader, and I appreciate that she brought more nuance to the story instead of having clear cut good guys vs. bad guys. In fact, Mulan had to find out who to trust even within her own family. This was a really refreshing aspect to the tale.

The Science of Breakable Things by Tae Keller

Mental health, science and flawed parents — Keller explored these themes in The Science of Breakable Things. I liked that Natalie is a little bit naive in that she thinks she can “solve” her mother’s depression by bringing her a reminder of her passion, which is a rare flower that she studied in her former lab. We might not be that naive but don’t we all want to solve our loved ones’ problems or bring back the past in some way?

Of course, it doesn’t work and Natalie finds out. But what she did accomplish is bringing depression to the surface as something that exists. It’s not an elephant in the room. It’s what her mother has, and there’s no easy way to erase it or make her mom better. And I think the fact that a kids’ book acknowledges that is very beautiful.

Before the Sword by Grace Lin

Grace Lin is one of my favorite authors, and Chinese folktales are her strength. Before the Sword is an original prequel to Mulan, when she was a girl. This book shares the same canon as Disney’s live action, so Mulan has a sister, Xiu, who was bitten by a poisonous spider. Mulan goes on a journey to find a cure, accompanied by the Rabbit and later, an Immortal named Lu Ting-Pin. The outcome of the book is that she finds out her destiny as a warrior, and the reader learns the origin and motivations of Xianniang.

Lin incorporates tales within the story, just as she did the “The Mountain Meets the Moon” trilogy. I love how the tales connect, and the comment thread is that the villain is the White Fox! She is so evil and beguiling. But the most interesting character to me is actually Xianniang. She and Mulan have a lot in common — feeling unwanted and a little bit lost. They both went on a journey with Rabbit, but where Mulan succeeded in bringing back a cure for her sister, Xianniang fell into the grasp of the White Fox, who, [SPOILER ALERT] was actually her mother! By the end of the story, I was rooting for Xianniang to find her place, even in the form of a witch joining the Rouran warriors. I’m excited for her and Mulan to meet again because they understand each other.

Ticket to India by N. H. Senzai

Partition, the separation of Pakistan from India, was an extremely traumatic event for both Indians and Pakistanis. When a line is literally drawn between religions, homes and families, the impact is felt for generations and it can never truly heal. N. H. Senzai identifies with both Pakistan and India, and Ticket to India explores what that’s like. It’s not that Pakistan and India are so different, or there’s pride in being from either country (as superior to the other) — it’s that there’s always a longing for home that never goes away.

The protagonist, Maya, is on a quest to find her grandmother’s treasure chest that she left behind when her family went to Pakistan after Partition. Maya finds that India is a place of contrasts; it has a lot of beauty as well as a lot of ugliness, but it’s nonetheless her grandmother’s home. This is the second book I’ve read from Senzai, and she really is the gold standard in South Asian MG lit.

Reflection by Elizabeth Lim

This was a YA adaptation that’s part of “Twisted Tales,” a series that takes a dark turn from the Disney versions. Reflection begins when Shang dies from saving Mulan from the Huns, and Mulan decides to follow him into the underworld, diyu, to take him back to earth. After talking to my friend Lynn, I realized this is a gender-swapped version of the Greek myth Eurydice and Orpheus. In the Greek version, Orpheus’s task is to bring his wife back to life, and he fails at the last second when he looks back at her.

In this version, Mulan is the one saving Shang. She’s still disguised as Ping, and the climax of the story happens when he finds out that she has been lying to him. [Spoiler alert] The penultimate test comes when an image of Shang abandons her in hell, and she has to believe that even though he would do that, she has to keep her end of the deal with King Yama, the king of hell. The final trial is that she has to select who she is — Mulan or Ping, among a pond of mirrors that reflects different versions of herself. I identified with this part because I feel like I’m always trying to find my true self, or fighting for it to come out.

Who are your favorite heroines, past or present?

Autobiographies and #OwnVoices

I think all of these books deal with trauma. Whether it’s separation, illness, or the day-to-day stressors of marriage, they all have a big impact on us and require healing. I admire the protagonists in these books for finding their own form of healing. 🙏💙 Whether it’s photography, drawing, writing, therapy, or coming to terms with oneself, like Lucy Grealy did, healing is the best thing about life.

Dept. Of Speculation by Jenny Offill

This was the first time I read Jenny Offill. I read a description of her writing as like text messages, and it’s so right. Dept. of Speculation is about a marriage. The subject reminds me of The Course of Love by Alain de Botton. It chronicles the relationship that starts with what feels like a special meeting, then gets into marriage and the minor annoyances that build up until the marriage becomes a problem.

I’m not sure I am a fan of these stories, although I’m sure they will get told many times. The bleak and hyper-realistic look into a marriage can feel like warning, or maybe for people who are married, it feels super relatable. In any case, I’ve heard great things about Weather and I will read that next!

Autobiography of a Face by Lucy Grealy

Lucy Grealy suffered a lot from a series of surgeries that she had as a child, when she got Ewing’s sarcoma. Throughout her life, she has wanted to look normal. I love this book as a counter to Wonder, which looks at disfigurement as something inspirational. But it’s okay to not want to live with a disfigured or ugly face. It’s okay to be like Lucy Grealy and want to look like who you know yourself to be. The fact is surgery changed how she looked, and her post-surgery face is not her own, anymore than the

Grealy has a very unflinching look at herself. She’s totally honest about her wants and needs, the ways they’re not met, and how she came to terms with all of it. After many failed surgeries, some of which spanned years, she decided that this is the face she will live with, and she went on to have flings, relationships, and a good time, as good as any of us may have. I’m so glad Lucy Grealy left this behind for us. Thank you, Lucy.

Shooting Kabul by N. H. Senzai

I love N. H. Senzai’s historical fiction for kids. Shooting Kabul is about a family escaping from Afghanistan, and the main character’s younger sister gets left behind. The family settles in Fremont, where there is an Afghan community. Fadi and his father love photography, and Fadi gets into the photography club at his school, even though he can’t pay for it. His older teen sister helps him pay for the club fees, and he enters a contest by photographing his grandparents.

This book was published in 2020, before #OwnVoices and the Diverse Books movement properly started. It’s set in 2001, and it depicts the prejudice and aggressions that kids like Fadi faced after the 9/11 attacks. I think that was my favorite part of it because it still happens today. In one scene, the bullies mistake a Sikh kid as Muslim because of how he looks. That totally happens!!! Ugh.

I Can Make This Promise by Christine Day

This has become one of my favorite books. Edie’s mom is adopted, but she has never talked to her about who Edie is named after. One day, Edie finds a picture of her biological grandmother, also named Edith. The story is about Edie finding out who Edith and who she is. This book gives background to the Indian Child Welfare Act. It’s heartbreaking to think that the government separated so many Indian families for no reason, and what kind of traumatic impact that has had generations after.

The book left me wanting to learn more about Edith. So many elders have passed away without their voices heard. To be separated from your child must be like dying while alive. Another aspect of this book that I enjoyed was the fact that Edie loves drawing, the salmon motif, and the strong sense of place in Seattle. I enjoyed this book and hope to read more from Christine Day.

How We Fight For Our Lives by Saeed Jones

I follow Saeed on Twitter and he is such a gem — a powerful gem. I also saw that Tiffany Young got his memoir at the bookstore! Right now seems like a fitting time to read this book because we are very literally, fighting for our lives.

Jones is brutally honest here. There is a lot of sex, generational trauma, coming of age and PAIN here. It hurts to read but it is so good. It’s about living unapologetically because when you’re a a gay Black man like Jones, the act of existing is defiant. Like Lucy Grealy’s memoir, How We Fight is not written to be inspiring to us, but it is. The spirit of living and survivorship is strong. Reading these memoirs make me feel like I need to do the right thing and keep living, as hard as it may be.

Which autobiographies or #ownvoices stories have inspired you?

Great nonfiction, continued!

img_1458

It’s been great exploring nonfiction this year because there are many interesting perspectives.  Going in-depth on one topic is so satisfying. Also, I love reading blog posts, and reading essays has been a similar experience. It’s personal yet informational.

Here are three nonfiction books I read recently, that I have enjoyed.

Labor of Love by Moira Weigel is about dating. It talks about how dating came to be so much like work. When we use metaphors like “on/off the market,” it’s really not a metaphor because a good part of dating is transactional! Weigel describes the history of dating from the beginning of the 1900s to now, through the eras of “calling cards,” to going steady, to online dating.

One thing that Weigel does well is that she is mindful of the fact dating is not the same experience for middle class White daters and LGBT and/or Black daters. For example, working (and dating) outside the home might have been liberating and a big change for White women, but Black women have always had to work outside the home. The history of dating is a constant shift in power between dating partners. The book explores these shifts by answering these questions:

  • Where does dating take place? In the home, outside, on the internet?
  • How do social forces like schooling, technology, and feminism affect dating?
  • In what ways does dating become work?

I really enjoyed this book. Weirdly, I did not come away feeling pessimistic about relationships. I agree with the author’s conclusion — dating (and to that end, procreating) is incredibly creative and changes the world.

The Pretty One by Keah Brown

I follow Keah on Twitter, and just like on social media, she is vulnerable and speaks candidly about being a disabled, queer, Black woman. She created the #disabledandcute hashtag. She loves pop culture and is an entertainment journalist. She’s a big fan of Paramore. It was like getting to know a friend, and I love how The Pretty One is not strictly a memoir but also her thoughts on pop culture. The truth is, pop culture does a really poor job of representing people like Keah, but that doesn’t stop her from being a fan of it and talking about it. And I’m very glad she has a voice.

Read alike: This Is Just My Face: Try Not to Stare by Gabourey Sidibe

Period Power by Nadya Okamoto

Nadya is incredible! I got into the menstrual movement last year and even though periods are just one out of many forms of inequality that comes with having a female body, it is worth talking about. It’s such a basic need that when it is ignored or not being met, it has a huge impact on daily life. Okamoto talks about how talking to homeless women about their menstrual needs, opened her eyes.

From these three books, I’m learning that for any feminist discussion to be productive, it has to be intersectional. It’s not enough to say that women are being short-changed in dating, in disability, and in menstruation. There is a hierarchy within those forums. Being able-bodied and cis-gendered means that I have privileges that make my experience more comfortable.

I’m grateful to these writers for sharing their knowledge and perspectives.

Fiction

A Tear in the Ocean by H. M. Bouwman

I loved A Crack in the Sea. It was such a unique cross-genre book! I loved Rayel, Artie, and Putnam here too. Rayel’s character spoke the most to me. She has been hurt many times, and the saddest part of the book was when Una/Nunu had a falling out with her. I like that the book doesn’t shy away from child abuse, arranged marriages and how strong children are. They survive these hardships and go on to build new lives, even if the scars remain. You’re not going to get better or be as happy as before those traumas. But you can build a new life – and that’s an encouraging message.

Mangoes, Mischief, and Tales of Friendship by Chitra Soundar / illustrated by Uma Krishnaswamy

I love short stories! This was such a fun read. The stories are like riddles / brain teasers. If you like Encyclopedia Brown, you will enjoy this. The prince Veera and his best friend Suku take court and solve a variety of dilemmas that citizens have. Neighborhood quarrels and greedy merchants are put in their place.

Here’s to short stories and essays, written by women and written for everyone!

Constructing and reconstructing reality in YA lit

Two of these books are based on real events, one is an imagining of the future, and one is an imagining of the past. Whether it’s real or imagined, building a rich world helps the reader get into a story. I came to appreciate that more this year because I have been diving deep into certain topics. I enjoy longform nonfiction and realistic fiction that offer a lot of context for explaining why characters do what they do, and the risks and rewards they face in their world.

The 57 Bus by Dashka Slater

This book has been on my list for a long time and I’m so glad I finally read it. Slater is a journalist and this true event was originally about a Black teen who lit a nonbinary teen’s skirt on fire. By talking to people from Sasha’s parents to Richard’s counselor, Slater was able to find what happened before that eventful day and the aftermath. Justice is not straightforward, and The 57 Bus challenges our assumptions about it. Juvenile crimes, teenage impulses, and the process of figuring yourself out — no single court decision can capture all of that. If only we could look at more crimes and events with the level of questioning and research that happens in The 57 Bus. 

Rebel Seoul by Axie Oh

Rebels can either want to build a new world, or they can fight hard for the world that used to be. Rebel Seoul is Lee Jaewon’s story about choosing an alliance, being a weapon vs. a person, and coming to terms with who your parents are. Jaewon’s father is an idealistic rebel who fought for the Old Seoul. Jaewon lives in Neo Seoul, during sometime in the future when Asian countries have become an alliance, after 50 years of war.

Oh is not only writing about God Machines, simulations and technologies, but she is also constructing history. I enjoyed this story for the fast pace and I felt the tug of war that Jaewon was facing.

Towers Falling by Jewell Parker Rhodes

Towers Falling is set 15 years after 9/11. Rhodes, the author of Ghost Boys, writes in such a poetic way. Kids like Dèja, born after 2001, are still living in the aftermath of 9/11. It isn’t just a historical event, but personal in the way it affects witnesses and survivors. Dèja’s father worked in one of the towers and he has been suffering from PTSD ever since 2001. This is a great book for social studies and looks at the impact events have on individuals, families, schools and communities.

Did not finish

Octavian Nothing by M.T. Anderson – I have heard so many great things about M.T. Anderson, and this book was written in a unique format with documents. Anderson really was consutructing history. I may return to this someday but not now.

Gregor the Overlander by Suzanne Collins – This is Suzanne Collins’s debut book, so of course I wanted to read it. I honestly only didn’t because I ran out of time and the book was due. I will have to get to it someday! The Hunger Games was great at worldbuilding, and I want to see how Collins did it here.

Mislabeling sex workers and addressing sexual misconduct between students

Earlier this week, I wrote about sex worker rights and coronavirus and the ensuing racism. Today, I’m continuing to explore those topics.

There is a new article on The Lily that is personal to me. It asks how do we respond to sexual misconduct between students. I’ve thought this as a teacher receiving threats and witnessing threats between students. I have not seen a satisfactory way to deal with it. Schools prefer to pretend that it doesn’t happen altogether. So, I’m very glad this article at least acknowledges the fact that it happens and we don’t know the correct way to resolve it.

A 4th grader was threatened with rape by classmates. She was told to ‘stay away’ from the boys.

When I was teaching 4th grade, there was a lot of bullying between students in my class. Now that I am not working in elementary education, I can talk freely about it:

The discipline policy in schools often punishes good students and rewards bad behavior. (Whether there are “bad students/children” or just “bad behavior” is another topic!)

Full disclosure: As a teacher, I did not know what was the right way to handle threats toward myself or between students. It’s not something I’ve ever been trained on. School administration gives no directions on how teachers should respond when they get threats in the classroom.

To me, it seemed that the school did not want to address that it was happening at all. PBIS (Positive Behavioral Interventions and Supports) was about “providing support and preventing unwanted behaviors.” But clearly, unwanted behaviors were already occurring.

The result is a lot of victim blaming and asking “What did you do to provoke them?” It’s no surprise that it’s the same response that victims of sexual misconduct hear in the adult world.

There is no “magic age” that makes kids old enough to take full responsibility for incidents of sexual abuse, said Stone. But for elementary-school aged students, schools should assume kids don’t really understand what they’ve done. When a 5-year-old pulls down his pants on the playground, for example, it’s clearly very different from when a high-schooler does the same thing, said Martin.

I definitely do not wish any child to go into the court system or get sucked into the cycle of recidivism. On the other hand, it doesn’t seem right that boys’ and girls’ harmful actions toward others go unaddressed, even if they’ve experienced it themselves.

The question becomes, how do we teach children what sexual misconduct is and why it’s wrong? After all, adults are supposed to know better and children are counting on us. When we pretend sexual misconduct doesn’t happen in school, we are letting down students who then have to carry the burden of hurt and harassment, as well as students who never learn that sexual misconduct is wrong and go on to do more of it.

‘Conflating Sex Work And Trafficking Is Harmful. We Need To Stop’

There is a really great human rights blog called EachOther. They have a series on sex work, and one article talks about not lumping all sex workers into helpless victims who got into sex work through trafficking.

Human trafficking is a horrific human rights violation that utilises threats, force, abduction, deception and coercion in order to control people and exploit them.

Sex work is a consensual transaction between adults. For many sex workers, this is their only means of survival.

They are different. Sex work, by its nature, happens in the shadows. But there is a world of difference between selling nudes on social media and working in a brothel and being a slave. When prostitution abolitionists talk about sex workers as all the same, it becomes even more harmful to them.

If sex workers feel so persecuted and judged that they don’t even disclose what they do to the most trusted profession in the world, we need to ask ourselves what we’re doing wrong.

Sex trafficking victims are not prostitutes by choice.

Sex workers are not all helpless victims.

If we really want to help victims of sex trafficking, let’s not talk about all sex workers as if they are in the same situation. They are not.

Explainer: Seven ways the coronavirus affects human rights

Coronavirus is a public health concern, but it also demonstrates why human rights are a MUST. It seems strange to have to prove the need for human rights, yet it’s an ongoing struggle in 2020.

Amnesty International talks about how “Human rights violations hinder, rather than facilitate, responses to public health emergencies, and undercut their efficiency.”

  1. Early censorship
  2. The right to health
  3. The censorship continues
  4. Activists harassed and intimidated
  5. Regional crackdown on “fake news”
  6. Discrimination and xenophobia
  7. Border controls and quarantines must be proportionate

We have to continue struggling for human rights, because it is literally a life-or-death situation. Even if my rights are not being violated, the effects are much closer than they appear to be.

Keep struggling and connecting with one another! Building connections and community is how we resist. ✊💛

Periods, online dating, and virus racism

Last week, a few of my interests “appeared” in my life:

  • Mochi Magazine, the publication I write for, ran an article on racism in online dating;
  • the alarm around coronavirus increased and I saw it on Facebook and heard about it in person;
  • I ordered reusable cloth pads from Rabbit+Bear Co and they arrived!

These all happen to be things I have strong feelings about: menstruation, microaggressions, and Asian Americans. (It’s also interesting when what happens online intersects with real life!) I’ve had a weekend to digest it and here are my thoughts.

I was bullied as a child after the SARS outbreak, now it’s happening again with coronavirus

There is so much misinformation around an unknown virus, and when compounded with stereotypes about China, it’s no surprise that it turns into racism and fearmongering.

If this outbreak happened in any other country, there would be hashtags like #PrayforParis or #StayStrongLasVegas right away. However, because it’s China, people react with avoidance rather than sympathy.  On Facebook, I see moms worried about the virus coming to their city, videos of bizarre Chinese street food being shared, and polls of whether Thailand should ban Chinese tourists. All of these are valid concerns, but not more so than the risks we encounter in everyday life. (For one, we could walk around being afraid of white men with guns, but you don’t see us doing that.)

People said I was being too dramatic and overreacting about the fake news and sinophobic articles being shared, yet a man in Sydney has already died from the “yellow peril” rhetoric spread by the media. He collapsed in Sydney’s Chinatown and died of a medical issue unrelated to the virus because people refused to administer CPR  due to a viral video going around of people apparently “collapsing” on the street in China.

There are no vaccines or precautions against negative attitudes toward certain countries or groups of people. To be fair, I see fear from both Asians and non-Asians, and China does need to be more transparent about how it responds to outbreaks. When it comes to viruses, let’s think Us vs. Virus, rather than point fingers and spread unhelpful paranoia.

Meet the Latina Fighting Chicago’s Period Poverty

Ashley Novoa started the Chicago Period Project to gather and give period supplies to homeless and in-need people. This includes pads, tampons, underwear, toilet paper, hand sanitizer and wipes. (Yes, having periods and being female in general, comes with a lot of costs!) Novoa works with the UI Health Pilsen Food Pantry in her old neighborhood to distribute the products.

“People talk about sex but are disgusted to talk about menstruation, even though it is the simplest part of reproductive justice. If people are not talking about periods, they fail to think about the menstrual struggles homeless people face with their periods,” Novoa says.

I love this because it’s a great example of starting where you are and working with your community. Also, it draws attention to the needs of homeless menstruators. Periods are so hidden that it seems as if people are not having periods at all, and among the resources given to the homeless, menstrual products are probably at the bottom of the list.

Support the Chicago Period Project here.

Sexual Racism: The Struggles AAPI Men Face and What We Can Do About It

It’s a fact: Asian men have a harder time getting matches on dating apps than Asian women. It’s uncomfortable to talk about hierarchies within your own race, but this is why it’s so important:

A phenomenon like this runs the risk of turning the female body into a commodity, of creating an arena in which Asian females come across as falsely privileged compared to their male counterparts and in which white women appear to be the ultimate prize. These racist stereotypes can fuel deep-rooted insecurities about Asian men’s masculinity and/or sexual appeal, which can spiral into negative notions about AAPI women.

Asain women’s privilege on dating apps really isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, and when you start to unpack what it implies — that it’s easier to get some people to date you, that it’s a privilege to date certain people — you see that sexual racism really pits people against each other, and as usual, white supremacy wins.

I don’t want to end on a bleak note, because I am really glad these articles were written. Online dating, period poverty, and viruses are all huge things that one individual can do very little to change, but I believe that microactions can be as helpful as microaggressions are harmful.

Let’s engage in and change the course of conversations about these topics. 🗣💬

Choosing your life *and* following a calling

One of my favorite publications lately is The Lily, the Washington Post’s publication for women. They run stories on national politics, women’s health, and pop culture, as well as personal narratives and comics!

One story stood out to me from The Lily this week:

The unexpected life of a millennial nun

The Catholic church seems to be one of the most patriarchal institutions there is. With reports of abuse by the clergy and conservative, and even restrictive views on women’s health, the church seems like the last choice for young women who care about social justice.

But some women my age have chosen just that. The article talks about Tracy Kemme, a 33-year-old Sister of Charity. It turns out that the stereotype of the secluded nun doesn’t capture what nuns look like and do today. Nuns have careers in the community such as dietician, historic housing preservation expert, hospital ethics member, and minister.

It also makes sense that the religious life offers women in my generation something that is missing in the outer world. To put it bleakly, in recent years, I have often felt the same way as millennial women who chose to become a nun: that the world doesn’t offer anything for me to hold on to. Religion isn’t an escape or rejection, but an embrace of life. It seems contradictory, but I can see how choosing “chastity opens one up to love more; that poverty recognizes common ground; and that obedience signifies deep listening.” Nuns are rejecting a traditional lifestyle but embracing the world at the same time.

Nonetheless, being a nun IS unusual. People are going to ask and wonder why women would forego so many possibilities to choose the religious life.

“There is something scary about women who congregate together, something scary about women who don’t live some kind of idealized American womanhood,” says Sister Mary Therese Perez, 36, of the horror nun genre.

This story resonated with me because I feel the same. I think married, single and religious life are all callings. I don’t feel devoted to religion, but the lifestyle of a nun does appeal to me. I care about social justice and helping others, and I don’t fear being lonely.

“I had learned that religious life wasn’t magic,” Kemme wrote this past summer. “[I]t wouldn’t save me from loneliness, anxiety or self-scrutiny. It wasn’t perfect; living with women from different generations and backgrounds was challenging and even painful at times. It wasn’t an escape; ministry with the suffering can be exhausting and heartbreaking.”

How does one prepare for that kind of life? There’s so much training and preparation to become a nun. But at the heart of it, being a nun is having “[a] sense of adventure or willingness to say ‘yes’ to a life that’s going to have twists and turns and lots of unknowns,” she says. “They’re really courageous people who are willing to challenge the status quo.”

I think we can embrace that in our life no matter what ‘calling” we choose.  Let’s keep challenging the status quo, choosing life, and engaging in the world.

Purposeful crafting and thoughtful gifting

Crafts are a big part of my life. The long list of DIYs on my Pinterest board motivates me to keep going so I can one day get to them. At the same time, caring for the Earth is a priority. Crafts use some resources that are harmful to the environment, such as glitter and plastic. 

In keeping with the idea of taking only what you need and being good stewards of the Earth, here are some ways I’m thinking about crafting purposefully. 

Purpose

Full disclosure: I love crafts for the process, but I’m still figuring out what to do with the finished products. As I’m writing this, I realized that I have it backward.

The thing is, you can craft anything you want. Rather than make then think of where it goes, begin with the end in mind. What am I creating this for? It’s so tempting to look at all the DIY ideas and want to make them all. Screening questions before I decide to make:

Where does it belong? 

What purpose does it serve? 

Who am I going to give this to?

People have been crafting since forever, so crafts do have a purpose. A few ideas from brainstorming and DIY blogs tell me that people make crafts to:

  • Pass down a skill like pottery and weaving
  • Remember an event or person
  • Celebrate holidays and traditions
  • Exchange and build community
  • Use in the home for decor or other functions

Crafting purposefully doesn’t mean that you can’t make things for fun. Objects can be meaningful and fun. Look at Carl and Ellie’s house in Up — every knickknack is personal. Their belongings speak to the relationship they had, who they are, and what mattered most to them. I’m taking Carl and Ellie as one inspiration for crafting with purpose. 

Relate

I think we can all get behind thoughtful gifting. Everyone has limited bandwidth, space and budget. We want to give gifts that people are actually going to use. It can be tangible things or experiences, pricey or budget, and DIY or store-bought. (Honestly, a gift card is always welcome!)

The Good Trade, a blog about shopping thoughtfully,  has some great ideas for DIY gifts. These ones really stood out to me:

  • Offer your skills & talents: There is something you are really good at, whether it’s making phone calls, referring doctors, organizing or cooking one particular dish. You can offer your friends a session of one of these services. Remember coupon books? A grown up version would be much appreciated.
  • Use what you have: Going back to being thrifty and good to the environment, it’s always a great idea to use what you have. Plan your budget, think simple, and make multiples of the same thing. 
  • Make or write something personal: A handwritten letter, photo print and symbols to a shared experience go a long way. It’s more meaningful because it can only come from you. 

Work in progress

When I look at the zero waste lifestyle, it’s inspiring but also makes me feel so far from living that way. I become aware of how much waste I create and it can be discouraging to make more things that honestly, might end up in the trash.

But a quick glance at DIY gift ideas shows that handmade gifts don’t have to end up in the trash. The beauty of crafting and eco-friendly hacks is that there’s a way to make everything from bath & cleaning products, to coupons & cards,  to food & drinks, yourself. (I’m a big fan of giving consumables! Treats will ever go to waste.)

“Choose something to make that you wouldn’t mind making over and over. I definitely wanted to make something functional that a wide range of people could use.”

Crafting itself is about being imperfect and practicing anyway. Let’s celebrate the fact that our crafts and gift-giving practices are works in progress, and it can get closer to being zero waste without being there now.

If you are on Etsy, favorite my shop to see what I’m making. When you’re pinched for time, what gifts do you like to give?